Googled Ooot Ma Face

Oh dear. I am an awful blogger!

I just wanted to say that, with the exception of a couple of items that are not currently in stock, I HAVE FINISHED MY XMAS SHOPPING!!!

How frickin' good is that. You'd think it were Xmas Eve! That's how bad i've been in previous years, so this entire bout of motivation has come as a complete surprise. It's the 3rd of December! Incredible. Hopefully in 2010 some huge plans of mine will come to fruitition. They're still at the 'fine-tuning' stage so we'll see how they go (vague, i know).

As for my previous exclamation about Google Calendar - what a discovery! I find myself writing 'To Do' items down throughout the day though to upload to the calendar when i get home as my work computer only allows you to log in to company email - everything else is so slow you end up flying into a rage and closing it down anyway before it craps itself and dies slowly of natural causes. I don't have very much in the way of a schedule so i've resorted to entering family and friends' birthdays. Although i do currently have two Xmas night out events scheduled!

Excitement at the nights out! I have one dress planned so far, the other is still to be certified! The first is for the full time job and takes place this Saturday - we've a Chinese buffet planned in a place along from work, and then a pub in town. Unfortunately i'm working at the Cinema on the Sunday so alcohol will not happen for me. Which i'm sort of glad of - think of the pennies i'll save!? The second night out is for the part-time job and we've rented out a hall in a hotel IN THE SAME TOWN AS THE ONE I LIVE IN! Score! 10 minute bus trip there, £2-£3 for the taxi home, all is paid up front (deposits and such) and i'm a cheap date so if i wanted, all i'd need is one chardonnay and lemonade (sounds very swank minus the 's', but it is most tasty). But of course, i won't do that. All i'm saying is, they'd better have Sailor Jerry's excellent Navy Rum or someone's face will hurt.

OMG i've just discovered Google Reader. And Calendar. And re-disovered G-Mail. *SSSQQQUUEEEAAAALL excitement takes over*

Keep Trying

I should not be awake right now. I was tired earlier but ended up staying awake to watch Sliding Doors as i hadn't seen it in a while (i don't what the general consensus is toward that film but i actually do enjoy it - mostly because John Hannah is boss) but now my mind is alive with thoughts, leaping around like i've never thought before.

I've decided that my life, right now, is an organisational mess. I have structure, sure. I get up every morning around the same time, go to work, get back home for just after 6pm. Eat dinner, apply for jobs, then start getting ready for bed. If i'm lucky i might fit in some stretches. At the weekend, you'll be lucky to find me in the pub, spending time with friends as 2nd Job has started giving me 2 shifts a week so i now work 7 days a week. You'd be forgiven for thinking i'm clearly 'rolling in it', but the digs money, the car insurance, credit cards and whatever else, see to that every month. Currently, 2nd Job is paying for my petrol money to get to Main Job.

Six months ago, things were starkly different. I was active - i'd get in from work, eat, then around 9 i'd go for a run after spending about 45 mins on the exercise bike, the stepper, and doing some warm ups. Every Thursday i'd go swimming. Since Autumn/Winter has began to cloak us, i can't go running - i just don't feel comfortable running in the dark at night - and since the exercise bike is in my brothers' room - it always has been...it's just that was the room my granddad passed away in - i just haven't been using it. I could use the stepper, which is in my room right now, but applying for jobs until bedtime stamps that out. Even in my 15mins relaxation time i get directly before bed, i don't have the energy to even want to do anything rigorously active. I even tried to work in a little bit of Pilates before bed but haven't managed it in such a while as there are too many repetitions and so little time left. So it's fair to say that i'm pretty much a big sack of fatigued, sagging muscle.

Add to all this that i miss my friends like crazy. I love my family and am getting on with them really well right now but i need some Friend time too. It almost feels as though we're losing our connections. I know that my closest will always be there but i just feel like i'm missing out on so much of their lives and news that it feels like every time we see each other, all we're doing is catching up instead of discussing the things we used to.

I'm seriously beginning to resent the position i'm in but unfortunately, over Xmas, it's only going to become worse as jobs are already beginning to dry up. A new job would change things at least a little - if i can manage to land a job that pays about the same or a little more than my 2 jobs together (which totals about £18k per year) then i can chuck 'em both and seriously begin looking to my future. Right now though, i'm just stuck in the moment. I'm not moving any further forward but i feel. All i can do is keep trying...

Happy 50th

For my 50th post on this new and supposedly improved blog, i'd like to introduce some quick-fire update bullets (i reckon i've actually done this a couple of time but shut up, it's *my* 50th entry:

• Had a smashing 23rd - the family were present in dribs and drabs really as i had dinner with mum at grans' (she wasn't well enough to be at ours as she'd have to climb stairs etc) then went home to see dad and then brother arrived later that night, received shoes, money and music! 3 of my favourite things!


• At Hallowe'en I was Daphne of the Scooby Doo gang (not the Buffy kind) - we had a Fred and a Shaggy but our Scooby turned up in a Policeman outfit \=I


• Picked up our dog on Sunday (photo will be somewhere contained within this post)


• The lack of jobs that I can actually apply for right now is upsetting, therefore my job-searching time that i set aside each day/night feels completely wasted.


• Beginning to feel it's me against the world because right now, nothing seems to be fitting...

Spritely

The clocks went back an hour at midnight this morning, meaning an extra hour in bed! Especially valuable for me, as the theme of this weekend seems to be 'catch up'. I had about 10 hours sleep on Friday through Saturday (i know that's not entirely healthy, but i must've really needed it), and about 9 hours today. So far i've ingested an apple (i felt like it), a cuppa coffee and a tea. I'm ready for more. Not just food, but i feel i have springs in my feet today. I've a whole list of things to get done, and they're all cleaning related, which is fine with me. I love cleaning. It's my thinking time, my time for putting things in order in my mind.

One thing i've been thinking about recently is my love for new music. A while back i was told about Last.fm. For some reason i went off it for a while, couldn't be bothered with it all. Recently i went back to it and downloaded the radio station thing and have it 'scrobbled' to my media player. I love it! So far i've rediscovered Bright Eyes (who i wasn't too sure of when i first listened to him a couple of years ago, but have a new found love for) and have been getting more and more into Death Cab for Cutie ... i <3>

In other news, on Friday night i was at a wedding reception. It's only the first ever i've been to, but i've never before been able to determine whether 2 people are actually in love, or are just making happy, smiley faces at each other. Good grief, they are soooooooooooooooo in love. They just looked gorgeous together. Their first dance was to Make it Wit Chu by Queens of the Stoneage (which i'm listening to right now), an amazing choice of song.

Did i mention that it's my birthday on Thursday? Chances are that i have done, several times. I think i'm more excited about the birthday/Hallowe'en antics that will occur the day after. It'll be my first proper night out in a loooooooong time. I've been asked to go as Daphne from the Scooby Gang. Reluctant at first, that soon changed when i got a loan of a pair of purple stilletos for the night. Now i have a dress and hair ideas. The only problem is, the shoes. They are glamorous, beautiful shoes, but they have, by a mile, the largest heals i have ever walked on. I am placing a wager with myself that i will fall off them within the first hour. It's a win-win sitch, really.

Anyhoo, must tidy. Photo's of the night, soon to follow, hopefully!

Awful, Sexy Mojo

I cannot believe how quickly Christmas is coming around. I'm slowly getting ideas for Xmas presents and i'm seriously toying with the idea of creating some personalised presents for my friends, y'know, not just because my credit card has a limit and i don't have actual cash to buy presents with, but also because i think they might appreciate something a little more personal than a play.com voucher.

Not only is Xmas zipping round fast, so is my birthday. I AM 23 AT THE END OF THE MONTH HOLY CRAP. This time last year i promised myself that my 22nd would be my best year yet. Was it? Well let's see. Awful badness at the end of 2008. Unsettled-ness throughout 2009. Law degree and no prospects. Rejected from entry to my post grad. Death in the family in August. More unsettled, awful badness until...now. I actually feel as though things might be looking up a little. I've suddenly realised that I HAVE A LAW DEGREE! The professional side of my life doesn't have to be this terrible because it's the one part, my professional prospects, that i can actually control! So i've been a-searching like a mofo, for the perfect job.

And i've started baking again, but this time from scratch, instead of buying that awful prepackaged mix. I was so excited about my first attempt - i found the perfect muffin recipe...or so i thought. They came out lookin' like scones. Dry and hard. And that's the just the beginning. I'd also used too much baking powder and salt, and the wrong flour. Haven't a clue how i managed that. But there you go. So this weekend, hopefully, i'm going to try again, either to perfect my scone recipe or to try and remake the muffins.

In other news, WE'RE GETTING A PUPPY!!!! He's an Irish Red Setter and i think is currently 6 weeks old. We've already picked a name for him - Len, after my grandpa who passed earlier this year. We've bought him loads of crazy toys (including some mad ball thing where you deposit the dog treat in one end, and i'm assuming here, either the dog licks it out the other end, or if he's clever enough he'll just roll the ball about til it falls out itself), his cage (apparently dogs sleep in their little bed which shoud be kept in a cage), which is huuuuuuge, and blankets etc etc etc.

Needless to say, we're all more than a tad excited. I swear though, if he pees in one of my shoes...i'll....i'll....well, you don't want to be there...

YouTube-ophile/Updatage!

Internet fixed!

I love Autumn - I love the leaves changing colours, I love the fact it's blowing a gale outside and i'm currently sitting up in bed wearing fleecey pyjamas (though i'll have to start getting ready for work verrrrry soon), I love that it's getting closer to Hallowe'en, I love that it's my birthday at the end of this month (just 2 days before Hallowe'en), I love that i get pretty much the same birthday cake every year - a purple and green buttercream and jam thing (purple and green being my two most favourite colours) with a plastic purple witch on a broomstick fixed on top. I love driving home on an sunny Autumn evening in late September where everything is licked with gold from the sun.

I love the fact that despite how cynical and disappointed i've felt recently, i've still been able to enjoy simple things. Eg, Shooting Stars anyone?? I haven't yet started watching the new series (due to the fact that i feel Jack Dee is a little too bland) but at work all we've been discussing are the retro episodes, and which quiz rounds were our favourites. Although mine was always the Club Singer round, i also enjoyed watching Donald Cox the Sweaty Fox, descending from the ceiling to prompts of Gin! Gin! Gin! It's had me in tears and fits of laughter just thinking about it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCCuOLqwZv8 - Eranu!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHvbP1hZ3Q8 - just because i thoroughly enjoyed this clip and because i couldn't find any Donald Cox clips =(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2prE-DUyESY - club singing